Musings

I am sitting here with bandaids on my face from Moh's surgery this week.  It's a lovely procedure for those of us who didn't have sunscreen and were in the sun a lot, and who have basal cell carcinoma. That is a 'good' skin cancer. Remembering the numerous shots in my face before they cut out the cancer cells, helps me remember to put sunscreen on everyday, and remind my kiddos to do the same.  My twin, Helene, and I have the same yearly visits of pain to the Dermatologist.  She told me about DMSO, a horse liniment, which has been shown to get rid of skin cancer. I researched it some and I am willing to give it a go.  If it doesn't work, oh well.  If it does, Jubilation!

Last night we were on the phone with dear family friends as their son, Spencer, (Talon's best friend) opened his mission call.  Johannesburg, South Africa.  It is crazy to think that this is going to be Talon in a few months. Why is it that he seems so much younger than my other 2 boys? Seriously, what was I thinking by encouraging him to go to Hawaii the year before his mission?  I know he is loving it and it was the right thing for him, but I am feeling a little selfish right about now and want him here to dote on and love. I'm emphatically sure he would much rather be in Hawaii.

This week I was downstairs and in the boys' rooms. For those of you who've had teenage boys, you'll know what I mean when I say that boys smell. They can't help it. They shower; they wash their clothes and still- they have a distinctive odor. Their rooms still smell like them. I miss the days when these rooms were filled with laughter, wrestling, friends, running, reading and sleeping.  I can see them at different times in their lives in these rooms. I wish I could have days gifted back to me to hug them, and sit and read with them and snuggle with them as they drift off to sleep.  I didn't feel like I wasted time with them when they were little, but I do wish I had some of that time back now.

I seriously miss and love my kids.